Ode to Hardee’s Marketing Department
How do you market a meat so despised
no one would eat it-
until you fry it
and place it
upon a vegetable oil filled doughy creation
called a biscuit?
Hand-rolled by
a pot smoking loser
in a stain covered polo
proudly displaying your logo.
My, oh my,
at six hundred and ten calories
and forty three grams of fat
it brings me to my knees
as my arteries harden
and my ever limitless hypertension
strains under the
one thousand six hundred grams of sodium.
some would call it criminal
though I believe your only crime
was making it delicious.
Most would hide it
embarrassed of it’s contents
not you,
marketing department of Hardee’s
no
you proudly wear it as a medal of honor
like Churchill
in a fast food battle of wits
that you
yes you
have already won
by honoring the meat
created from bowels
of swine,
poultry,
beef
and probably cat.
asking me as I go through your
drive thru
“Would you like to try our new
Oscar Mayer Fried Bologna Biscuit.”
