My New Beard!

 

I’ve decided to grow a beard.  Not an ordinary beard mind you.  Ordinary beards are for pussies and your Kenny Roger’s.  Nope, I’m going to grow an extravagant beard.  How extravagant you ask?  Only the most extravagant beard this Earth has ever seen.  Don’t believe me?  How’s this for starters?  One word.  Glowing.  That’s right, a glowing , green neon beard.  How will I do it?  Well, lightning bugs.  If you ask me, they have always been the curse upon humanity.  Flying around, glowing, trying to get laid with bright green asses.  Show offs.  I want to get laid, if only my ass would glow.  God, Lightning bugs are just so fucking arrogant.  Like tiny little pussy magnets flaunting themselves right in front of us.  All I want to do right now is fuck up a lightning bug.  Now, where was I?  I can’t fucking think straight with all this lightning bug tail floating around me and all I have to get laid is this itchy ass fucking beard.